Another day

Today has been another hard day. Not as hard as Monday or Tuesday but still hard!

Jeff and I are just trying to regroup and decide how to continue. We know that God has lead us to adoption but we are very leery of any agency at this point. How do you trust anything anybody tells you. We have been told nothing but lies and placed all of our faith and trust in the king of all liars! We have talked to a couple of Adoption Attorneys and have looked into several new agencies but just don't know where to turn.

We are in contact with a group of people that have been taken by this same agency. It really is very sad. We were taken for a huge amount of money but nothing compared to what some of the couples have lost. Even birth mothers have been scammed by this agency. There are birth mothers that can not reach their adoptive families anymore because of this agency. They have lost contact with the biological children! That is very sad!

The thing that just keeps coming back to me is that adoption is a promise. A promise that is made by several people - the adoptive parents, the birth parents, and the agency. People in mine and Jeff's situation place their faith on a promise made by people they do not even know. We want to grow our family and believe that adoption is the way to do it! It is a feeling you will never understand unless you are here! But then there are people like the ones running this agency that have no emotional ties to anything but money. They couldn't care less about people's hopes and dreams. I truly believe they will pay for their wrong doings! I am to trust God and know that he will hold them accountable. I have to answer for Kim and Kim alone! That is something that I have had to pray about and think long and hard about since Monday. I want to be has destructive and hurtful as I can be to this man but I know that it is not my place. I want to come out of this knowing that I have maintained my dignity and done the Godly thing. I don't want this to hurt my Christian testimony but I can honestly say I am being tested! The devil is working really hard but I am trying my best to hang on and keep the faith. Pray for me!

Please continue to pray for me and Jeff as well as our family. We are all hurt! We have all cried but we are trying to survive and make it through!