Back in the Saddle again.....

Today is the first day I have felt like I was ready to climb back on the horse and try again.

To say that Jeff and I are gun shy at this point would be an understatement that is for sure! Last night I spent quite a good bit of time looking at new agencies on the Internet and trying to find something that stood out to me. I came to work with a list of ones that I wanted to contact for information. I made several calls this morning but nothing really seemed right. Then at lunch our friend Amy called me with a question about her home study and we were talking and she just mentioned again her agency she is using. We are waiting on some information and we have looked at their website but again we are very scared to make any choice. So Amy gave me the name of her contact at the agency and I called her this afternoon. WONDERFUL! I have hope again! This is a strong faith base agency that really tries hard to help the birth mothers parent their babies but if they can not then they place them for adoption. I have never heard any other agency say that before. I like that - I really do! They have the baby and mother at heart from the start to the finish and that is awesome! Anyway, the fees are right for us to handle after our disaster we just went through, the adoptive parents list is short like 15 - 20 compared to 60 -75 at other agencies, and the wait time is not that bad either. Of course, I would love to have a week wait time but they are really average with all the others I have spoken to. So to sum it up...this feels good again. Actually I feel better about this agency than I ever did the first one. I did an initial phone interview today. They do that to see if they even want to send you an application in the mail. Then after you complete the application you have a second phone interview and then you go back before the board before you are ever approved. Everything is base on your faith and belief in God not the money! AWESOME! This is about what is best for the families and the babies and not the agency!

So Jeff and I will talk about it and pray about it this weekend and see if this is the way we are going to move forward. It sounds wonderful to me but we are moving with caution! Pray for us this weekend as we still recover from our hurt and anger and as we try to make decisions regarding what agency to use now. Embraced by Grace is looking like it maybe the way we are supposed to go.

OK and one more thing, I truly believe that God puts everybody in your life for a reason. Amy and I have known each other for 4 years now through cheer leading but I wouldn't say we were really friends, like talk on the phone friends. When our adoption started Amy and I started talking more. I recommended our agency to them, THANK GOD they did not use them. Amy found Embraced by Grace and told me how blessed she and Jay were. I was happy for them - it sounded like a great fit for them but I had an agency that I thought was good for us at the time! Little did I know that in a few short months we would be looking for an agency again. We have helped them through the home study process and they have helped us through this terrible week. I think I know now why Amy and Jay are in our lives. I know that people try to understand how you feel when something bad happens but unless you are going through the same thing you really don't. Amy has been a source of strength for me this week and I am so thankful for her guidance and her shoulder. It has made all the difference to have someone to call that is going down the same path. Thank you Amy! You are a God send!

Pray for me and Jeff as we face these tough choices again! Also, pray for Amy and Jay - they are almost home study ready! YEAH!