New Emotions

We got an update letter from our old agency Wednesday and I have to tell you I got a little bit excited! When I opened it it was the same word for word as the email I got two weeks ago so that was a little disappointing but never the less I thought (yet again) that maybe the whole thing had been a big misunderstanding! Thursday the Arkansas Department of Family Services called and said they had scheduled the hearing to revoke the agency license. That made me think they knew we were going to be told about the hearing and they would send the letters to make it look like they were making an effort. In other words, they got me again! Or at least that is how I feel now! We have to be in Little Rock on March 24th to testify at the hearing. I am not looking forward to it at all. I do want answers and I want to be able to close the chapter on this agency and finally fully move on but I know when we leave that hearing we are going to be just a confused as we are now. In my heart I know it is a scam and we have been taken but I just don't want to believe it. Or should I say, in my head I know we have been taken but in my heart I just don't want to believe it! I just can't believe someone would take advantage of people like that! I guess I am just naive because if you tell me something then I believe you! How can people be so cruel! And then stand behind God and the Bible to do it! It is really scary! I mean the whole time you are talking to the man he is talking about God and quoting scripture and the ten commandments are on his desk, and Jesus is on the wall! How can he be a fake and put his head on the pillow at night! I would be afraid to draw my next breath - I would be afraid God would strike me down. That is why I am having such a hard time with all of this being a lie! So I am just dumb? Help me think this through! Are there really people that do things like that in this world?

We have to have our finger prints done again tomorrow. Seems you can not get your prints done in Mississippi if you don't have a Mississippi ORI number and our ORI number in a Tennessee number. ORI is the agency identifier that the FBI sends the results back to. Anyway, once we get that done we are set and ready to be active at EBG. We are ready!

Pray for us as we face the hearing on March 24th. I will be uneasy about it until we are done! Pray for EBG as they look for birth mothers and adoptive families everyday. Also, pray for Jay and Amy. And don't forget the R house. Their Adoption drama is still going on!

Thanks for your prayers and support!